5 Things That Are Only Normal in CrossFit

September 06, 2016

Some of the things people do at CrossFit workouts would be completely unacceptable outside of the Box. Here are a few of those things...

1. Finishing a task with torn up hands.

Where else would this be acceptable?   When you tear your hands...you go fix your hands... Right?   Not always.   

Sometimes people are willing to say...

"Well, I tore my hand open, and there was blood and human flesh everywhere, but I only had 20 pull-ups left, so I figured I would just place my open wounds on a filthy piece of metal and keep doing the very thing that injured me to start with. With any luck, I'll acquire some sort of flesh eating skin disease..."

This is madness, but fairly common at the Box.

2.  Having an (accidentally) filthy mouth.

We hope you have no idea what we're talking about here, but CrossFit is a playground of double entendres.
I never dreamed that I'd hear so many of my friends from church accidentally say so many dirty things when referring to certain Olympic lifts.
If you talked this way in any other environment, people would be horrified enough to refer you to the HR department, but during CrossFit workouts, we just accept that we constantly make inadvertent genitalia puns and move on with our lives.

3. Extreme interest in performance.

If we took such an extreme interest in someone's performance outside of CrossFit workouts, it would get really weird, really fast...

"Hey, how long did it take you to rake your leaves?   What was the hardest part?   Did you have to take any breaks?  Is that the fastest you've ever done it?   What kind of grip did you use on the handle? Did you get blisters on your hands?   Did you do it in the morning or the afternoon?   Are you normally pretty good at raking?...Can you show me the technique you used?...etc.  
In the real world this sort of behavior would eventually garner a restraining order.  At CrossFit, it's a welcomed 20min conversation about the latest WOD.

4. Wanting things to be harder.

Have you ever wished that the hide-a-bed couch you were moving was just a little bit heavier?   Do you stare with envy at construction laborers as you sit in your air conditioned office?  Do you wish the parking spot that is FURTHEST from the mall entrance wasn't already taken?

Of course not, but at CrossFit, we're always aching to do the RX'd weight.

"Please!   Can I make this already miserable workout harder, so I can write those two little letters next to my name?   Pretty please!?!?"

5.  Timing everything.

At CrossFit this morning we timed our warm up, a chipper WOD, and an all-out 800m run.   Could you imagine describing your day to your spouse if you had this same mindset/infatuation outside the gym?
"Yah, today was OK.   I got through my grocery store chipper in 43:18.   I thought for sure I could get it under 40:00, but I was really slow picking out avocados.   I read Green Eggs and Ham to Johnny in 2:13 today though, so I was pretty happy with that...Were you in the mood for a 45 minute AMRAP tonight?  Or just one round for time?...Rest day?  I'm cool with that..."

So there you have it.  5 things that are only normal at CrossFit.

CrossFit is one of the most wonderfully odd things I've ever experienced, and although it may seem a bit strange to the rest of the world, we're pulling more and more people into the weirdness all the time.  Someday, you might even be able to discuss Olympic lifting with your grandmother without blushing, but until then, just enjoy your weird little CrossFit community, and be grateful for them.

Have a wonderful day!

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Bonus point:  Jumping rope as an adult is also a little weird, but we think you're secure enough to handle it.  Design an awesome rope!  Work out anywhere!
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