5 Things CrossFitters Aren’t Good At…

February 24, 2016

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CrossFit truly does prepare you for the "unknown, and unknowable," but there are a few things that you will not be good at...Here are 5 of those things...

#1 Talking About Anything Else…

When you discover the beauty of CrossFit, you’ll start talking about it…a lot.   You’ll try to explain it to people. You’ll make CrossFit analogies all the time. It will creep its way into all your conversations until you become the resident "CrossFit Guy/Girl.”

The only cure for this is to talk about it more, so they know how great CrossFit REALLY is.  If we can convince the rest of the world to try CrossFit, we won’t have a need to talk about anything else, and at that point, we’ll just be “good at talking.”

#2 Suffering Quietly…

Whether you’re new to the box, or a seasoned CrossFitter, you’ll occasionally be so sore that you’ll moan and groan every time you sit, stand, or blink.  People will frequently mistake your involuntary whining, and wailing for the sound of an elderly person in need of assistance, or the victim of some sort of terrible accident.

If you’re a librarian or a banker, you might want to re-think this whole CrossFit thing, or at the very least, prepare yourself to hear the words…”Are you ok?” …all the time.

#3 Dinner Parties…

At some point in your CrossFit journey, you’ll probably try eating some sort of clean diet, which turns you in to a very high maintenance dinner guest.

You’ll find yourself wanting to say things like…”Oooh…what’s in this?… Was it grass fed?...Is this organic?…What’s in this sauce?…Any added sugar in these berries?”...and…”Sorry, I can’t have legumes.”

Don’t get me wrong.  Eating a clean diet is important, but it’s tricky to handle these social situations without making your host feel like they've just served you a Doritos Locos Taco from Taco Bell.

The cure for this is to have your own dinner parties, and serve semi-delicious clean food. This will keep you from insulting your hosts, and give you the chance to talk about CrossFit in front of a captive audience (see point #1).

#4 Resting…

This sounds absolutely crazy, but once you start making gains, and having fun with CrossFit, you’ll have a hard time taking a rest day.

You’ll find yourself wanting to slip in an extra workout here and there to feed your addiction. You’ll offer to run back to the car to retrieve forgotten items while you’re on vacation.  You'll help people move so you can lift heavy things...etc.

If this is you, you need to take your rest days seriously…but you probably stopped reading this article a few paragraphs ago so you could work in some Tababta push-ups while nobody was watching.

#5 Dressing like a normal person…

The more you CrossFit, the more comfortable you’ll be walking around in workout gear, covered in sweat, and some sort of mysterious white powder.

The good news is that looking a little less "normal" will allow you to roll all the money you’ll save on “normal clothes” into leggings, board shorts, tank tops, headbands, weight belts, wrist wraps, KT Tape, shoes…and…you guessed it…Jump Ropes!  :)



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Ian Sturgeon
Ian Sturgeon