5 Things You Shouldn't Say at CrossFit...

March 15, 2016



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In any situation, there are things that you just shouldn't say...here are a few things to avoid saying at a CrossFit Gym...

1.  "That doesn't look too bad.."

When you first start CrossFit, you'll be naive enough to say things like: 

"Hmmm 21-15-9...Thrusters...Pullups...That doesn't look too bad..."

Uttering these words makes the subsequent misery even harder to deal with.

You'll not only feel like you're going to puke, pass out, or collapse...You also feel like an idiot for being so dismissive about a workout that is now definitely... "too bad."

If a workout "doesn't look too bad"...prepare yourself for the inevitable by saying something like this instead:

..."I wonder how quickly I'll begin to choke back vomit..."

2.  "Almost There!"

Unless you ABSOLUTELY KNOW that someone is "almost there," resist the urge to say those specific words.

When someone is 3 rounds into a 7 round workout, hearing the words "Almost There!" from an (already finished) super-human who is putting their bar away, and drinking a FitAid is far from encouraging. 

Throw out a "Nice Work!" or a "You Got This!" and reserve "Almost There!"  for the last few seconds of an AMRAP.

3.  "Wasn't this WOD supposed to have burpees?"

Are you kidding me?  If you're lucky enough to have a trainer who left something off the white-board, you'll keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you.

Remember when the teacher forgot to collect homework in middle school, but that one kid was like..."Miss JOOoones!  What about our book reports?...Yah...don't be that kid.

If your trainer screws up the WOD, it will set the standard for all the other classes to follow, which means keeping your silence at 5 AM will be the gift that keeps on giving all day long :)

4.  Any mid-WOD comment with numbers in it...

As much as you might want to have a conversation with someone who is trying to count...don't...

Example:

"Are you on round 4?...I think I'm on round 3 of 5, and now I have 23 more box jumps to do because I've only done 7, and there's a 30 minute time cap!  I hope 3 minutes is long enough to get through my 185lb dead-lifts!"

We are not Rain-man...Please keep your comments short, and free of numbers...or just stick to involuntary cries of agony like everyone else so we can count our reps.

Also, refrain from putting Tommy Tutone's 1981 hit "867-5309" on a playlist unless it's done as an intentional effort to sabotage the counting efforts of subsequent classes at your box.

5.  "Where are the jump ropes?"

We urge you to stop saying this.

Just using any ol' rope is a sure way to consistently leave the box looking like you were assaulted with a weed whacker.

Most boxes will have some sort of thoroughly abused loaner rope to get you through your first few WODs, but consistency and sizing are key, and very soon, you'll want your own rope.

So there you have it...5 things you shouldn't say at CrossFit...Luckily we're too out of breath to talk most of the time anyway, so this should be pretty easy :)

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Bonus...

Here are 5 things you just shouldn't say anywhere...

"Tubular" - Unless referring to something with a tubular shape.

"That's what she said" - Unless it really is "what she said." (or it's too good to pass up)

"Booyah!" - Unless you were boo-ing, but then quickly changed your mind and decided to cheer.

"All that and a bag of chips" - Unless a clerk says "Anything else?"  ...then it's totally fine to say..."yes...all that, and a bag of chips!"

"Talk to the hand" - No exceptions here...just seriously don't say this...ever...I regret even writing it.

 

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Ian Sturgeon
Ian Sturgeon

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