Photo Credit: Mat Fraser Instagram @mathewfras
The CrossFit Games recently came to a close, and unless you've been hiding from the internet, you know that Mat Fraser is the Fittest Man On Earth again this year.
As happy as I am for Mat, I have to admit that I'm a little jealous.
I'd love to be an elite athlete, but if I'm being honest (and sane), I know I will never stand on top of the podium at the CrossFit Games. Heck, I'll be lucky to win a few more workouts at my local box before I'm old and decrepit.
However, after doing some thinking, I've decided that I'm still a champion. And not just any champion, a back-to-back champion! Just like Mat. (sort of)
Here are just a few of my favorite titles.
Back to Back Champion of Most Time Spent in the Principal's Office 1988-1994
This is probably my longest running string of victories. Not only did I win this championship year, after year, I did it effortlessly.
Did I go to school INTENDING to punch other kids, make (hilarious) jokes about my teachers, and be generally disruptive in class? No. Did I do it more than anyone else on a consistent basis. Yes I did.
Back to Back Champion of Having the Most Diverse Job History After High School 1999-2003
Here is but a small sampling...
- Health Food Store Clerk
- Supermarket Meat Dept. Cleaner (ewww)
- Newspaper Mailroom Worker
- Ice Delivery Man
- Sales Rep
- Construction Worker
- Tortilla Factory Worker
- Dog Track Video Technician
- Radio DJ
- Freelance Audio Producer
- Waiter
- Ceramic Factory Laborer
Everyone talks about how much millennials job-hop. It appears I was ahead of my time during my college years. If only I'd known my true calling as a custom jump rope salesman :)
Back to Back Champion of Misplacing the Most Keys At Once
Every time I break this record, it's my own.
The other day I hadto use my spare keys to drive my car to get a new set of keys to get into office #2, so I could get a borrowed set of keys to get into office #3 to get my actual set of keys, and return my old keys to office number #1.
If that was confusing, it's because my key losing skills are on a different level. It really is mind boggling to wonder how I do it so effectively, and so often.
Back to Back Champ of Having The Most Coffee Mugs On My Desk (daily).
I sure wish I could somehow get rid of this pesky keyboard to have room for more coffee cups on my desk.
Don't even try to compete on this one. Again, I win this championship every day without any real effort. I guess I'm just a natural.
Back to Back Champ Of Drinking The Most La Croix. (also daily)
What's that? You think you drink lots of La Croix too? Sorry, I didn't hear you while I was chugging these 2 cases. Better make another trip to Costco...Lemme take 1 for the road...Make that 3.
What started as a healthy treat has now replaced that other stuff I used to drink...What was it again? Oh yeah. Water.
Anywho...
We could talk about my accolades all day, but my point is this...
We should all celebrate the monumental achievement of Mat Fraser, without losing sight of our own talents. In the words of the Karate Kid theme song...
"You're the best...around...nothin's ever gonna keep you down!"
Just like me, you're probably the back-to-back champion of something.
Keep up the good work, champ!
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P.S. Being the back-to-back champion of having your gym's coolest jump rope design is totally a thing. Click below to get started :)
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