Sure, we've all seen the T-shirt claiming that "our warm-up is your workout," but if outwardly bragging about CrossFit isn't your style, let's look at some ways you can brag about it in a humble, but no less self-gratifying, way. This is of course not an exhaustive list, but these 3 examples will prime the pump, and help you craft your own well-played humblebrags.
#1. The Tortured Athlete
"Sorry I'm late! My CrossFit coach thought it was a good idea to make me go for a double bodyweight deadlift, and it took forever!" (eye-roll at the end)
Oh man, this one is beautiful. Let's unpack it.
#2. Perfectly-Placed Jargon
"Sorry for my calloused hands. I've been working on stringing my muscle-ups, and the chalk at the gym is really drying out my skin (lol)."
You can't possibly be bragging if you begin with an apology.
Instead of just walking up to someone and saying "GUESS WHAT I CAN DO!!!," you're just pointing out this subtle characteristic about your hands during a handshake, and opening the door for the question "What is a muscle-up?" After that happens, it's off to the races, 'cause hey, they asked, right?!
Message they'll hear...
"I am very strong. I can do pull-ups, and advanced gymnasty stuff. Soon I'll be able to do those gymnasty things even better. I might as well be Spider-Man... Is that a donut you're eating?"
#3. Apple-to-Much-Stronger-Apple Comparison
"Can I show up late to the BBQ and wear my workout clothes? I have to submit my last CrossFit Open workout tonight or I won't be considered for the CrossFit Games this year."
Technically this statement is true, as ridiculous as it likely is for you, so this should ONLY be used if you are confident that the other person has no idea what the CrossFit Games are outside of a random channel flipping experience.
You're showing you care about their BBQ by insinuating that you'd skip going to the gym on any other day.
You'll also be able to pretend you don't wear gym clothes in public more than the average person, and that you'll "sacrifice" by rushing over in your active-wear.
Message they'll hear...
"I care so much about your party, but you know that crazy fitness competition you saw on ESPN2 while you were gorging yourself at Pizza Hut? I might get to do that. I'm basically an Olympian."
With a little work, I'm sure you'll be humbly letting everyone know how incredible you are at CrossFit very soon.
Sorry there weren't more of these tips. I did Fran unbroken this morning and apparently doing all those thrusters and pull-ups without any breaks made it really hard to type!
(see what we did there?)
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P.S. For advanced humblebragging, you can use a prop.
Design a custom speed rope and leave it in plain view on your desk at work.
Someone will definitely comment on it, and at that point you'll be able to apologize for your messy desk, and then demonstrate a set of double unders after you "reluctantly" agree to show them your skills.
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