Let me begin by saying this.
I love my CrossFit training gym.
On the other hand, there are some petty little things I have a really hard time dealing with at my CF gym. Here are a few of those things.
1. Compliments
I hate compliments. I hate being told that I "crushed" a workout, or that I "killed" something.
Comments like this always put me in a really awkward place. I feel like I can only respond in 1 of 2 ways.
Option 1: "Yes, thank you for noticing that I am the best."
Option 2: "Oh gosh, the only reason I won was because Joe didn't show up. In the whole scheme of things I'm really not very fit. I mean, come on, if Rich Froning Jr. were here he would have gotten like 10 more rounds than me, I'm actually pretty terrible at everything, and I'm not worthy of any compliment...ever...for any reason."
Someday I might be able to master the art of simply saying "thank you," but until then, prepare yourself for an awkward 5 minute dissertation on why I'm completely worthless.
2. Happy Music
I think I've mentioned this in past articles, but I really do want to stab jump rope handles deep into my ear drums when an up-beat, fun-loving, 80s hair band graces us with their presence on the stereo system at my CrossFit training gym.
I'm punishing myself over here. I need songs that are angry, inspiring, or tough. I don't like happy songs in workouts for the same reason they don't have barbershop quartets sing at MMA fights.
I'll go back to being your friendly gym buddy here in a minute, but right now, I need to do some battle, and I'm close enough to throwing up already without the help of the B52s.
The other day at the CF gym we did 100 or so pull-ups to Milli Vanilli's "Girl You Know It's True"...I wish I was kidding.
3. T.M.I. Conversations
Here are just a few embarrassing topics that recently made me break into a cold sweat while teaching class at our box...
- Bowel movement schedules
- Child birth
- Breast size
- Nipples
- Flatulence
...etc
Please keep me out of any conversation with unnecessary references to body parts, reproduction, or indecent acts.
Maybe I should wear hearing protection at the gym. I've definitely heard some things that I can't un-hear no matter how much I've tried.
Conclusion
I guess a place that continually gives out compliments, occasionally plays happy music, and has a tight-knit community that will talk about almost anything together isn't so bad.
If this is the worst of it, I guess I'll stick around. Since...you know...I love my gym and all. :)
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P.S. Ordering one of our jump ropes might spawn several compliments. Don't say we didn't warn you :)
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