So, normally we're pretty encouraging around here, but today, I'm politely asking you to consider staying home.
You see, for a long time, I've been cherry picking WODs, dodging my least favorite movements, and skipping out on skill-work.
Psshhh, I'd say. That's stupid! That's a ridiculous workout!... I don't have time to go today...I don't need to work on that skill...etc.
Unfortunately, after skipping all of that "stupid" programming, I've noticed that everyone else started getting better, while I either stayed the same, or lost fitness in key areas.
However, today I sucked it up. I went to the gym even though the workout was an absolute nightmare for me, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was putting in the work to get better.
Here's where my plea comes in...
DON'T GO TO THE GYM TODAY!!!!
I got better today. I made strides toward gaining some of my fitness back, and I can see the error of my ways.
Unfortunately, that won't matter if everyone else comes to the gym today too. You'll all stay a step ahead of me, and I'll never catch up!
Also, since we've all decided that you're planning to skip the gym today, I'd really appreciate it if you followed these additional steps to help me gain some ground…
1. Do not leave the couch today. There's some great stuff on the Home Shopping Network, and you'd miss it all if you actually put on pants and left the house. Also, concentrate on sitting in the poorest posture possible, and don't even THINK about doing any mobility work.
2. Additionally, please neglect your nutrition. Start polishing off jars of Nutella...Order in pizza...Eat ice cream for dinner, and have a few drinks with anyone who will sit on the couch with you.
3. Please do not drink water.
4. I'd like you to meditate on all the things you've ever tried to do, but but failed at. It's going to be really hard to catch up with you if you continue to feel and act like a super-hero. This confidence thing has got to go.
5. Look up tomorrow's WOD, and start thinking about all the ways it's going to suck. Do your very best to exaggerate how hard it will be, and if possible, criticize the programming with others (not me), and develop a negative attitude.
If you can find it in your heart to skip the gym and follow the instructions I've outlined above, I really think I can catch up a little bit.
Thanks in advance for your kindness.
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P.S. We've got some pretty awesome things for you to take to the gym (tomorrow). If the Home Shopping Network starts to bore you, maybe you can grab some new gear instead :)